GameAmp: Suggestions on How to Handle This

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binarydumb

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Joined: 09/12/2005
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Suggestions on How to Handle This

A little long. I know someone has experienced this so, I would like to know how you would handle this type of thing.

About 2 weeks ago, I helped a friend through THK. One of the group was an elementalist who had 2 of 4 pcs of 15k armor. the rest were the desert collector's items. My friend was continuing to the Ring of Fire and she came along as well. After that mission, whilst chatting, I PM'd her that I could help her get the last couple 15k armor pcs. She said, she wanted the leggings more than the vest/robes. Since she had the materials, I loaned her 15k with the only requirement as paying me at least 1 installment per week (no minimum). I just wanted a good faith effort. She was a good ele. Since then, she's been on my friends list.

Over the holidays, I sent her a PM - and she was ignoring me! Wow. *shakeshead.

Mind you, I am not angry. I'm more perplexed than anything else. When I started playing GW, there were people who did the same thing for me. So I try to help others as well.

So what do I do? Start asking for collateral & References? I just don't want the basket ruined by one rotten apple. There are those I have helped that are now doing the same. I just want the trend to continue. There are enough 'bad' people already.

Any suggestions?

***THIS POST HAS BEEN EDITED***

12/27/05 12:37

Star_Gazer

Posts: 63
Joined: 08/21/2005
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RE: Suggestions on How to Handle This

any chance of her being afk?

i usually only give money to guildies...while sometimes, I do give money to people in missions if they do good, but I do not require payment back. So, I would just suggest to give money for the sake of giving to those that you think truely deserved it.

12/27/05 12:43

A parked car

Posts: 1
Joined: 12/23/2005
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RE: Suggestions on How to Handle This

Hmm, i dont know what to say, becasue honestly , theres not many people that i really trust enough in guild wars to loan stuff to. (other than ppl i know in rl and my [AMP] peeps(0=0)

Just be careful who you trust, most people will take advantage of you and that is one of the drawbacks to being a kind person in an MMORPG. Just make sure you know FOR SURE that they will keep their end of the bargain....and i hate to say it, but if this continues, you might have to stop being helpful, but lets hope it doesnt reach that(0=0)!

12/27/05 12:46

Mann

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RE: Suggestions on How to Handle This

All I can say is move on. :( Same thing happens to everyone! Heck, I gave 55k to a guild member, and hoping he'll pay me back eventually. People are so lazy... but then again, others can give an arguement that I made other's laziness come up even more by giving them the reap of my hard work. :p Ah well... hopefully your friend will come around. :( Good luck to yah.

12/27/05 12:47

Xavier_Darkraven

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Joined: 09/15/2005
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RE: Suggestions on How to Handle This

You said 'since then' she's been on your friends list. So would it be right to assume that she wasn't really someone you had known/played with for a while before then? I generally just give to those on my list who i've known over a period of time. And then it's more in the shape of a gift than a loan. But that's because I find it hard to accept anything on a loan basis as it puts you in a commitment to someone that can be uncomfortable.

My only advice would be to only make big donations (like 15K) to those that you are sure you know well enough to make good on a promise. Still it's a shame that someone would just put you on ignore and leave it at that.

The Yak Whisperer
True Face of Evil

12/27/05 12:47

Star_Gazer

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RE: Suggestions on How to Handle This

QUOTE

Over the holidays, I sent her a PM - and she was ignoring me! Wow. *shakeshead.

also on this note, Guild Wars has a new feature: Do Not Disturb mode...she might have been in a mission that was difficult...just try to talk to her again, and if not, just cut your losses and move on...15k is not that hard to get back ;]

12/27/05 12:51

BulletStopper

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Joined: 07/29/2005
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RE: Suggestions on How to Handle This

I also have given money like that to random people. Generally, I assume that I won't get paid back, even if that was the arrangment. I will continue to be generous and for the reason I hope people will continue the trned.
While money isn't really an issue to me because I have everything I need and actually enjoy farming, I don't usually give large sums of money anymore. The last time I did, not only did I not get paid back, the person wanted more - 73K to be exact, enough to get his monk a second set of armor and 5 superior runes.
Usually now I give items and help people lower level than me. I regularly end up running people for free, or a tip if they feel like it. The only run I won't do is droknars. I can do it, but I have issues with low lvl characters and people feeling they "need" that armor. (What can I say, I support level requirements)
As far as advice - move on and write off the 15K. Also, please continue to be nice ingame, Tyria needs more nice people.
FYI, I've also recruited some very good people into the guild by just being nice to them and helping out.

12/27/05 13:16

binarydumb

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Joined: 09/12/2005
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RE: Suggestions on How to Handle This

I know, 15k isn't that hard. Also, since I have a family guild, there is no one else there but my children.

Yes, I did try PM'ing her twice on Saturday about 3 hrs later and on Sunday at an interval of 5 hrs. Same thing, "so and so is ignoring you'.

I move on, and will probably be more circumspect about this type of thing. Funny, as a youngster (a loong time ago), I was told to learn to recognize those that need help versus those that want help because of the massive difference. Sigh, I still here my parents, LOL.

Thanks for the suggestions, folks.

Hmmm. I feel another writing 'twitch' here.

12/27/05 13:21

tofudevil

Posts: 4
Joined: 08/27/2005
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RE: Suggestions on How to Handle This

Well the way I see it is that u should hold on to money and good items because u really just dont know who could be a nice player and who could be faking it and ripping u off. Although its kinda sad that its like that my tip is 2 never trust anyone in the virtual world unless u know them in real life.

12/27/05 13:43

evil geek

Posts: 15
Joined: 10/18/2005
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RE: Suggestions on How to Handle This

I think the most important thing that has been raised by others in this thread and that strikes a chord with me is the game needs nice people, there's plenty of people playing this game who aren't necessarily selfish, but who are motivated by posessions, cash and the quest for kudos amongst gaming peers. But not enough like you Binary' - Don't let it put you off doing nice things for people, it's a good buzz.

Theres always going to be people out for a quick buck or who will renage on promises. I agree with what Star_Gazer said

QUOTE

I would just suggest to give money for the sake of giving

How u do that of course is purely a personal choice - I often go with the 'random acts of kindness' approach.

As my mum always said 'It's nice to be nice'

Don't let one bad apple spoil the crop!

• Guild Wars: Mutants [MU] • Age of Conan: Ampian Forerunners •

12/27/05 13:59

apoletta black

Posts: 391
Joined: 10/20/2005
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Yak advice.

You should never loan ppl stuff or let them barrow it. If you want to help, give it to them with a good heart, no expectations, no strings. It is much better that way.

I know you ment well but, If you ask Judge Judy, 90 percent of her cases our from ppl who loaned or let ppl barrow things and were never repayed. >:)

12/27/05 14:23

Julia Heartilly

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Joined: 11/26/2005
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RE: Suggestions on How to Handle This

If she was really ignoring you, do the same but don't let others suffer from it.

Just delete her from friends list and move on, better luck next time I'd say... after all, why still bother if she doesn't appear to be such a good person after all.

OK, you'll have lost the money but there's probably no way you'll see that back anyway, just keep your faith in others because there are enough nice and good people out there and it would be a shame if any of them had to miss out on friendly help just because someone before them messed up.

12/27/05 14:29

lani

GameAmp Staff
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RE: Suggestions on How to Handle This

Listen to the Yak :-)
By putting someone under obligation to you, you set yourself up for being hurt. Someone who you like and think you can trust turns out to be unable to resist the temptation of not paying back the 15K.

Therefore I have a policy of never lending anyone anything. Not even Guildies. Sorry AMPs :-P The reason is, that money means a whole lot less to me than me being in a good mood.
It's not the money that hurts then, it's the breach of trust.
So I tend to either give money away, but more often I'll either help someone get their money, go farming with them or give them some items that they'd be able to sell for four to five times the price I would get (I suck at selling).

MMORPG (Roleplaying): Mostly Men Online Role-Playing Girls
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12/27/05 14:33

binarydumb

Posts: 18
Joined: 09/12/2005
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RE: Suggestions on How to Handle This

The Yak and the Lani have spoken!

I heed those words. I think having them commit to the money is not necessarily a good thing. Greed has become commonplace.

I shall start from the suggested approach. I hope we start making a dent and start making 'our kind' of folks MORE prevalent than the 'degenerates' out there.

Thank you for the suggestions. I am just a bleeding heart (especially for monks), I guess. I have not asked for much, just that they do the same for others.

'You get more with sugar than with Vinegar' will always be my approach.

12/27/05 15:20

Gryzz

Posts: 1
Joined: 08/26/2005
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RE: Suggestions on How to Handle This

I know how you feel as it's happened to me well over a dozen times. You CANNOT put much faith in someone who you know simply over the internet in the first place, let alone someone you just met. There will be no repercussions so they could very possibly just ignore you and move on, taking advantage of your generous nature. Sheesh, if I never gave anything away, I'd easily have some Fissure armor for my monk right now :)

You truly see the bad side of people when it comes to greed. They can lie to your face with no regrets and easily screw you over, you have to accept it. All you gotta do is just stop giving if you don't want this to happen and that is really the only 100% way for it not to happen again. But of course, that wouldn't be too nice to those less fortunate, so you basically, as everyone else said, just have to move on.

12/27/05 16:51

apoletta black

Posts: 391
Joined: 10/20/2005
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RE: Suggestions on How to Handle This

Well call me a dope, but I give away things to my freinds, and guildies all the time. Any time I find something cool i hang on to it till i can find it a happy home. I love my freinds and i love giving things to them. When i give them stuff, I have no expections of getting anything in return. Freindship has more value to me then black dye or anything i could find in the game. And yes i have giveing away many black dyes.
I know if you want to save up money for amror or a hall you have to be more tight fisted. And I dont expect every one to share my veiws. I do expect ppl to earn there own way.
Begging isnt cool. Its not the yak way.

12/27/05 17:39

Jamnog

Posts: 82
Joined: 10/09/2005
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RE: Suggestions on How to Handle This

yes i dont lend i just give i find i get allot more back if i expect allot less. its sad that this person has messed up your day i suppose if you had screen shots you could report them.

12/27/05 17:53

lani

GameAmp Staff
Posts: 596
Joined: 09/08/2005
Credibility: 28 pts

RE: Suggestions on How to Handle This

Gift Culture works both ways.
I just realized that while I've always simply given stuff away that seemed ideal to other people, sometimes stuff that would net me 100K plus if I would've bothered to sell them, it's also true, with a few exceptions which I bought for bargain prices from UC Cat, that just about every item I'm really happy with was given to me as well.
Wow, extra long sentence :-)

It doesn't matter if the persons to whom I gave stuff were in fact the same that gave me stuff, sometimes it was, sometimes it wasn't. I feel a lot more comfortable with it than the whole 'throat-cutting' markets I see in the game. I find it hard to put a price on virtual goods, but I know what I appreciate and what others appreciate. Giving works a lot better for me as it's the gesture or thought that counts, not the inherent (if any) value of said item. That's just as subjective but leads to bickering instead of happy smiles :-)

***THIS POST HAS BEEN EDITED***

12/27/05 18:46

apoletta black

Posts: 391
Joined: 10/20/2005
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RE: Suggestions on How to Handle This

Yes i agree the giving works both ways. I rember the first time some one gave me somthing really nice.
It was my first time coming postal, and Pheonix gave me a really nice flaming dragon sword for my warrior, man i was so excited i about pee'd my pants. What a total cool thing to do for a doppy n00b. >:)

12/27/05 19:12

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