Dracorian
Posts: 1
Joined: 08/07/2005
Credibility: 0 pts
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| Things to ponder if you are bored... |
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1. Ever wonder about those people who spend $2.00 apiece on those little
bottles of Evian water? Try spelling Evian backwards: NAIVE
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2. Isn't making a smoking section in a restaurant like making a peeing
section in a swimming pool?
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3. OK.... so if the Jacksonville Jaguars are known as the \"Jags\"
and the Tampa Bay Buccaneers are known as the \"Bucs,\" what does that
make the Tennessee Titans?
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4. If 4 out of 5 people SUFFER from diarrhea...does that mean that
one enjoys it?
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5. There are three religious truths: a. Jews do not
recognize Jesus as the Messiah.
b. Protestants do not recognize the Pope as the leader of the
Christian faith.
c. Baptists do not recognize each other in the liquor store or at
Hooters.
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6. If people from Poland are called Poles, why aren't people from
Holland called Holes
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7. Do infants enjoy infancy as much as adults enjoy adultery?
8. If a pig loses its voice, is it disgruntled?
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9. Why do croutons come in airtight packages? Aren't
they just stale bread to begin with?
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10. Why is a person who plays the piano called a pianist but a
person who drives a race car is not called a racist?
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11. Why isn't the number 11 pronounced onety one?
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12. If lawyers are disbarred and clergymen defrocked, doesn't it
follow that electricians can be delighted, musicians denoted, cowboys
deranged, models deposed, tree surgeons debarked, and dry cleaners
depressed
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13. If Fed Ex and UPS were to merge, would they call it Fed
UP?
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14. Do Lipton Tea employees take coffee breaks?
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15. What hair color do they put on the driver's licenses of bald
men? (Hmmmm)
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16. I was thinking about how people seem to read the Bible a whole
lot more as they get older; then it dawned on me .....they're cramming
for their final exam.
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17. I thought about how mothers feed their babies with tiny little
spoons and forks, so I wondered what do Chinese mothers use? toothpicks?
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18. Why do they put pictures of criminals up in the Post Office?m
What are we supposed to do, write to them? Why don't they just put
their pictures on the postage stamps so the mailmen can look for them
while they deliver the mail?
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19 If it's true that we are here to help others, then what exactly
are the others here for?
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20. You never really learn to swear until you learn to drive.
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21. Ever wonder what the speed of lightning would be if it didn't
zigzag?
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22. If a cow laughed, would milk come out of her nose?
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23. Whatever happened to Preparations A through G?
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As income tax time approaches, did you ever notice: When you put the two
words \"The\" and \"IRS\" together it spells \"THEIRS\"?
edit note: tried to get tags to show, but they won't as usual. WHY???
***THIS POST HAS BEEN EDITED***
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| 12/31/05 16:33 |
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Dracorian
Posts: 1
Joined: 08/07/2005
Credibility: 0 pts
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| RE: Things to ponder if you are bored... |
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even have the use tags box checked on above post, they still don't show up....Grrrrrr..........lol
Edit note: tags worked on this post...lol
***THIS POST HAS BEEN EDITED***
Dracorian say's If she's worth the ride, she's worth my time...
\"Life is not a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in a pretty and well preserved body, but rather to skid in broadside, thoroughly used up, totally worn out and loudly proclaiming ~ WOW, what a ride!!!\"
\"Long ago when men cursed and beat the ground with sticks, it was called witchcraft. Today it's called golf\"
I've decided to dedicate my body to a medical
school, and just before I die, I'm going
to swallow a little plastic toy. That way,
the medical student who cuts me open will
get a nice surprise. I just hope the other
medical students aren't sad because they
didn't get a toy with their cadaver, too.
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| 12/31/05 16:38 |
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