DJ_Absinth
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Joined: 08/24/2004
Credibility: 0 pts
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| Winners from "Why was Absinth absent" story contest 9/29/04 |
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Root User (Winner):
Okay this is a totally true story. I was told it by a confidential source and now I'm telling you.
It all started when some bad cats from Andromeda were driving around our solar system when they had an urge for a sudden snack. Well, aliens from Andromeda eat only one thing, cooks. The greatest delicacy are chefs in training, for they are considered a rare treat.
As luck would have it, they arrived as a major storm approached the soutner U.S. I should mention, the luck was bad, for Absinth that is. As he was seized from his mobile home by the chef-eating-aliens from Andromeda, Absinth could do only one thing.. And that is yell for the greatest hero group mankind has known.
The rock band known as KISS.
Ace's ax split the air, but the aliens were not powerless. They quickly called upon the evilest musician ever, Dionne Warwick. She had lamefied Aerosmith, surely her Psychic powers would match up to KISS.
Things looked dark for Absinth.. But like David had his slingshot, Earth had another David... David Bowie that is.
He quickly utilized his timeless cool to freeze Warwick and banished her to the waiting rooms of Dentists everywhere.
So that's why he was late for the first night. The other 13 days, lets say was just a bad case of avoiding one of the worst hurricane seasons ever.
Aether Barrior (Runner Up):
Absinth growled as the gremlins swarmed over his rooms and towards him. He grabbed one as it reached for his computer and threw it at another one. He tried to hold them at bay with his chair and fire but there were too many and he was overcome.
He awoke and found himself in the great gremlin catacombs. As he looked around, he realized he was being dragged deeper. He pulled himself free and scared the gremlins off.
He realized he was not sure where he was and he had no clue how to get out of the catacombs. As he pondered his situation, he heard his phone ringing. He sifted through the pile of his stuff the gremlins had brought and found it.
It was one of the other DJ's wondering where he'd been. They realized that the only way to get him out of there was to send in one of their top inside agents.
Synjari arrived and helped lead Absinth out. Before she disappeared, he asked her how he would get his computer back.
She told him not to worry about it.
When Absinth awoke the next day, he found his computer mostly put back together with several gremlins hiding in the shadows. When he tried to log onto City of Heroes, one of the gremlins leapt out and bit him. He fought it off, then became very ill.
With the aid of some medications and force of will he was finally able to return to us today.
Clockwork's Son (Runner Up):
Well to start things off, lets just let the cat outta the bag. Absinth has a drinkin' problem.. SHHHH. I know no one likes to admit it, but its true. DJ Absinth was about and about here in paragon and came across the Paragon Dance Club. There he met himself a bonnie lass and tried to impress her by spending large amounts of influence at the bar.. lets just say that while the wad of influence (ever wondered where it really went?) impressed the lass, she also noticed the fact that he was actually drinkin that much and she's seen her share of hero's turned lush here in Paragon City. Thus it did not have the effect on the lass Absinth had hoped for.
So he slugishly tried to walk outta the club gracefully. Upon leaving, he tried to walk home and passed the store where they sell BUDAH BACK RIBS, and he thought to himself, "SELF, All that drinkin made me kinda hungry, why not?" So he went in and bought some ribs. After eating a little, Absinth left. On his way home he was still a little sluggish. He came across a pinstripe-suit wearin fellow, who caught his attention with a pair o' dice and a corner. DJ Absinth couldn't resist, and well folks.. you all know what a good combo drinkin and gambling is (why else would they give you free beer when you gamble?).
So Absinth started bettin big influence around and soon found himself in the hole, a BIG hole. And well.. when Absinth couldn't pay the next day, he had a wholesome visit from a few BIG members of The Family, who proceeded to take some influence outta his backside. This ended DJ Absinth in the hospital spending some quality time with our friend "HELL NURSE" who proceeded to help him get better in the way only Hell Nurse can.
Now when he got outta the hospital, he got another friendly visit from The Family. Now this time there were no fists involved, the Family wanted to earn the money back that he had owed them, so DJ Absinth has been forced every once in awhile to make certain deliveries for the members of the Family. So there you have the story of why DJ Absinth has been gone and disappearing when the so-called gremlins attack his PC.
Now I like DJ Absinth as much as the other guy, so I ask you.. are there any other heroes out there willing to help me have a few discussions with the Family and take our friend Absinth off their books?
"What is it about the dark places that draw my existance in? The night? The dormant shadows? I would give up my immortal desires to know."
| PARENTAL | | ADVISORY | DJ ABSINTH CONTAINS
EXPLICIT LYRICS |
From Go-Quiz.com
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| 09/29/04 03:31 |
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