GameAmp: These are so good

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zindane26

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These are so good

My friend thinks that her poems are bad, cheezy and not that good. I want to show her she is wrong, but my review alone isn't enough so I want gameamp to give her some love. Would you all mind? She's a little down here is one of hers called angel

Cry today
Cry tomorow
Smiles filled with so much sorrow

On and on life will go
Just as a fountain flows

Mommy, Daddy dry those tears
Someday things will become clear

Though i'm not there now, i hope u know
that i love u so

This is a message sent from me
as i sit on Jesus knee

Grandpa gives a wave
Telling his son to be brave

And here we wait till the day
That u come home to stay

07/14/06 22:43

LordXenophon

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RE: These are so good

That's not bad. I've heard some similar poetry at the monthly poetry readings here. Is hers all this good?

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07/14/06 23:25

zindane26

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RE: These are so good

Thanks for responding X. Forgot to mention, that was made for her little sister who was born premature and died 2 days later on may 9th

07/14/06 23:30

Warron Peace

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RE: These are so good

*Wipes tears from eyes*

Ahem, I know how it is to lose a child, so please send my sympathies along to your friend. As for the poem, I only wish that I could write poetry as good as that was. I honestly would like to read more of your friends work. Please post more, as I'm sure I won't be the only one checking in on this thread to read it.

Warron

07/15/06 00:33

zindane26

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RE: These are so good

Just for asking warron, I will

07/15/06 00:35

thejeni

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RE: These are so good

QUOTE

You need to tell her she is crazy if she doesn't think that is good. It is a very moving poem (even more so after reading what it is about). But it is an excellent poem. I would love to read more of her stuff.

Siggy created by DeathFetish.

07/15/06 00:36

zindane26

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RE: These are so good

Here is another it's called soldier

We are all soliders in our own battles

Nobody's the same when they come back from war
No matter what kind it is

The sparkle in their eyes fade
There smiles go away

They change so completely

A secret, a pain eched deep in their eyes, in their soul.
A longing, a dream,a need to be whole again

To be the person they were before this all began.

thats their dream, thats their life.

07/15/06 00:37

zindane26

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RE: These are so good

This is Eveything Changed

Daddy's chest fills with pride.
Mommy's love fills her eyes.
Sisters smile makes you laugh.
Oh the good times we had.

Daddy's chest starts to fall.
Mommy's eyes go dull.
Sisiters smile starts to fade.
Happy times go away.

Tears fall from their eyes.
You may start to wonder why.

There is one reason why every thing changed\
You went away

Writen in loving memory of baby sister:
Emily Dawn Nyuli

07/15/06 00:38

zindane26

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RE: These are so good

Always

ALWAYS

Always forgotten
Always left to fightyour own fights
Always crying
Always feeling like no one cares
Always feeling as if it won't get better
Always wanting to die
Always waiting to feel happiness
Always wishing to be normal
Always wishing to be part of your family
Always wanting to be someone new,some one different.

Always feeling the pain
Trying to find the answers
Trying to hide the tears
watching the stars till there gone
in endless rain i've been walking
feeling nothing but pain, the feeling of being forever alone.

I met her two days ago and now we are so close! Too bad she lives in Canada

07/15/06 00:40

thejeni

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RE: These are so good

Oh yes, your friend is VERY tallented. How old is she?

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07/15/06 00:41

zindane26

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RE: These are so good

14 jenie

07/15/06 00:42

zindane26

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RE: These are so good

These are all I can find right now

07/15/06 00:45

thejeni

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RE: These are so good

QUOTE

14 jenie

Wow. She has a lot of good insight on the real world at the age of 14.. it is kinda sad... but she is very good at expressing herself w/ her poetry...

Could you ask her if she has anything lighter? These are all so dark. I'm wondering if she writes happy as well as she does sad.

Siggy created by DeathFetish.

07/15/06 00:50

zindane26

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RE: These are so good

I Dunno jenie. These are all i could find, if she comes back on tonight i'll ask her but dont hold your breath

07/15/06 00:53

zindane26

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RE: These are so good

And i'll be on this thread ready all night, so if you have a quetion to ask her go ahead

07/15/06 00:56

thejeni

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RE: These are so good

QUOTE

I Dunno jenie. These are all i could find, if she comes back on tonight i'll ask her but dont hold your breath

I won't hold my breath. I'm actually getting ready to call it a night.

But even if she only has dark ones, if you can get more I would really like to read them. I've always been a fan of good poetry!

Siggy created by DeathFetish.

07/15/06 00:58

zindane26

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RE: These are so good

I think she is back, ty so much for all the love, i'll get her the link right now. and to you all she says "THANK YOU!

***THIS POST HAS BEEN EDITED***

07/15/06 01:05

thejeni

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RE: These are so good

QUOTE

I think she is back, ty so much for all the love, i'll get her the link right now

Well tell her we want more! I want something good to read when I get up in the morning!

Siggy created by DeathFetish.

07/15/06 01:06

zindane26

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RE: These are so good

will do genie

07/15/06 01:07

Warron Peace

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RE: These are so good

Very good stuff she gave you, I look forward to more (and hopefully more positive) stuff from her. Could you find out if she has a website up? If she does, I'd love a link to her stuff.

Thanks,

Warron

07/15/06 03:15

zindane26

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RE: These are so good

Srry warron, these are all she has here, I got all she had

07/15/06 03:19

thejeni

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RE: These are so good

QUOTE

Srry warron, these are all she has here, I got all she had

I guess it is time for her to do more writing *grin*

Siggy created by DeathFetish.

07/15/06 10:56

singularity

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RE: These are so good

14, eh? She and I should talk sometime...heh.

There are alot of kids around this area my age who think I'm weird because I study physics and philosophy while they're busying talking about JLO or Vince Vaughn/Jennifer Aniston. It seems she would not be one of them, and that would be warming to me. I have just a couple friends in VA Beach who think I'm awesome instead of weird, and I have Xol and Sunshine here. It really helps to have friends. Invite her onto cohgameamp sometime, I'm sure the community would give her a warm welcome.

"Probably the saddest thing you'll ever see is a mosquito sucking on a mummy. Forget it, little friend."

07/15/06 11:03

zindane26

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RE: These are so good

Will do sing, but don't be suprised if she only stays onn the off topic or the rant and rave section.

07/15/06 11:06

singularity

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RE: These are so good

QUOTE

Will do sing, but don't be suprised if she only stays onn the off topic or the rant and rave section.

Wouldn't be in the slightest. Notice I am bound more to the off-topic and general discussion than any other forum.

BTW, her poems are phenomenal for her age. I forgot to add this in the last post.

***THIS POST HAS BEEN EDITED***

07/15/06 11:14

zindane26

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RE: These are so good

I didn't know u studied physics, my dad is teaching me about computers and how to make them tick, were gonna make a game someday and sell it

07/15/06 12:29

Krav Maga

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RE: These are so good

Just wanted to add my 2 cents in and say that they are great. Tell her to keep writing whatever it may be for writing is an expression of the soul.

07/15/06 12:35

zindane26

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RE: These are so good

Will do crav, and thanks for putting your first post here, WELCOME TO THE SITE

figured i had to say that[/SIZE]

07/15/06 12:37

thejeni

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RE: These are so good

Welcome to the site, Krav Maga!

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07/15/06 12:40

Warron Peace

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RE: These are so good

First off: Welcome to the site Krav! If you need anything, just let me know, I'll help if I can, or at least point you in the right direction.

Secondly: It's too bad she doesn't have a site of her own. I think she should make one, as well as look into other poetry sites. There are some that are willing to publish your stuff for free. (Of course they then sell it and so make a profit, but hey, its free to you.) This is a great way for her to get her name known, especially if she wants to pursue poetry more professionally, which I think she could do.

Anyway, I look forward to reading more of her work.

Warron

07/15/06 13:00

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