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LadyElectrolite
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Hehehe, here is a list of "what if's, and stuff" that is kinda amusing.
1. Ever wonder about those people who spend $2.00 apiece on those little bottles of Evian water? Try spelling Evian backwards: NAIVE
2. Isn't making a smoking section in a restaurant like making a peeing section in a swimming pool?
3. OK.... so if the Jacksonville Jaguars are known as the "Jags" and the Tampa Bay Buccaneers are known as the "Bucs," what does that make the Tennessee Titans?
4. If 4 out of 5 people SUFFER from diarrhea...does that mean that one enjoys it?
5. There are three religious truths: a. Jews do not recognize Jesus as the Messiah; b. Protestants do not recognize the Pope as the leader of the Christian faith; c. Baptists do not recognize each other in the liquor store or at Hooters.
6. If people from Poland are called Poles, why aren't people from Holland called Holes?
7. Do infants enjoy infancy as much as adults enjoy adultery?
8. If a pig loses its voice, is it disgruntled?
9. Why do croutons come in airtight packages? Aren't they just stale bread to begin with?
10. Why is a person who plays the piano called a pianist but a person who drives a racecar is not called a racist?
11. Why isn't the number 11 pronounced onety one?
12. If lawyers are disbarred and clergymen defrocked, doesn't it follow that electricians can be delighted, musicians denoted,cowboys deranged, models deposed, tree surgeons debarked, and dry cleaners depressed?
13. If Fed Ex and UPS were to merge, would they call it Fed UP?
14. Do Lipton Tea employees take coffee breaks?
15. What hair color do they put on the driver's licenses of bald men?
16. I was thinking about how people seem to read the Bible a whole lot more as they get older; then it dawned on me: they're cramming for their final exam.
17. I thought about how mothers feed their babies with tiny little spoons and forks, so I wondered what do Chinese mothers use? toothpicks?
18. Why do they put pictures of criminals up in the Post Office? What are we supposed to do, write to them? Why don't they just put their pictures on the postage stamps so the mailmen can look for them while they deliver the mail?
19. If it's true that we are here to help others, then what exactly are the others here for?
20 You never really learn to swear until you learn to drive.
21. Ever wonder what the speed of lightning would be if it didn't zigzag?
22. If a cow laughed, would milk come out of her nose?
23. Whatever happened to Preparations A through G?
***THIS POST HAS BEEN EDITED***
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| 11/21/04 10:09 |
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Sapphire_Gypsy
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Those are funny... I've seen some before :) but still funny.
I'm not a Super Hero, but I play one on PC!
I didn't even cheat to get the result... first try!
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| 11/21/04 11:35 |
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Dejavu
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*LOL* Those are funny :D
| QUOTE |
1. Ever wonder about those people who spend $2.00 apiece on those little bottles of Evian water? Try spelling Evian backwards: NAIVE
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heard once:
*In French accent* \"Those Americans... Ha! They are so stoopid I bet you I can sell them bottled water...\" Not to offend anyone ofcourse :P Wasn't I who said.
| QUOTE |
15. What hair color do they put on the driver's licenses of bald men?
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Um... I think the actually put "bald" like that makes the dude feel any better *LOL*
*Cops pulls over man with no hair* "Drivers license please. *Reads* Bald... humm why yes, yes you are..." Grrrrrr
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| 11/21/04 14:05 |
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LadyElectrolite
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| QUOTE |
15. What hair color do they put on the driver's licenses of bald men?
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| QUOTE |
Um... I think the actually put \"bald\" like that makes the dude feel any better *LOL*
*Cops pulls over man with no hair* \"Drivers license please. *Reads* Bald... humm why yes, yes you are...\" Grrrrrr |
LOL!..... too funny
***THIS POST HAS BEEN EDITED***
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| 11/21/04 15:59 |
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KraZeDKaoZ
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lol love the jokes.
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| 11/21/04 18:34 |
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Kandriel
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how bout these:
why is it that when we're looking for a house of something, we turn down the music.
why can't girl put on mascare withou opening their mouth.
why would someone take the cake. why not take the pie, its easier. piece of cake.
"If i cared I'd send a card, "Dear Mickey, Happy Birthday. Love George." But I don't! Why? Don't give a s**t. No wonder nobody takes our country seriously. We celebrate the birthday of an imaginary rodent.
Liberty - Kandriel, Bio Weapon Un.00 and Xaphini.
Pinnacle - The Bladesmith
Freedom - Kandriel, BioWeapon Un.00
EVERY server - Evil Mapserver
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| 11/22/04 02:38 |
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NerdyChick
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| QUOTE | | why can't girl put on mascare withou opening their mouth |
I do not!!!
Psion ~ MMO Radio mIRC channel
World of Warcraft
Dipity ~ disgustingly cute Gnome on Darkwing Server
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| 11/22/04 09:27 |
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GlacialRain
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my favorite is always
why do they call it rush hour when you're not going anywhere?
***THIS POST HAS BEEN EDITED***
Haelin 16 Human Summoner - Permafrost
 I taste like Bread.
I am a staple in almost everyone's diet. Friends like me are a complement to any other friends I get on with almost everyone, remaining mostly in the background, but providing substance when it would otherwise be lacking. What Flavour Are You?
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| 11/22/04 10:32 |
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CrystalStar1
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He He He......Love the oldies but goodies:)
How about this one:
So you think a Gallon of Gasoline is expensive? (warning some of these may be old prices and are American dollars)
- Diet Snapple 16 oz. for $1.29, equals $10.32 per gallon
- Lipton Ice Tea 16 oz. for $1.19, equals $9.52 per gallon
- Gatorade 20 oz. for $1.59, equals $ 10.17 per gallon
- Ocean Spray 16 oz. for $ 1.59, equals $10.17 per gallon
- Pint of Milk (16 oz.) for $1.59, equals $10.17 per gallon (but a gallon only cost $3.52??????)
- STP Break Fluid 12 oz. for $3.15, equals $33.60 per gallon
- Vick's Nyquil 6 oz. for $8.35, equals $178.13 per gallon
- Pepto Bismol 4 oz. for $3.85, equals $123.20 per gallon
- Whiteout 7 oz. for $1.39, equals $25.42 per gallon
- Scope 1.5 oz. for $0.99, equals $84.48 per gallon
- And the REAL KICKER........Evian (read it backwards folks) Water 9 oz. for $1.49, equals $21.19 per gallon....$21.19 FOR WATER!!!!
(He He)
You get the Idea?? So next time you're at the pump, be glad your car doesn't run on Nyquil, Scope, or Whiteout!!!!!
(If anyone wants the Powerpoint slide of that one......I have it! He He! Without my little side notes)
"As darkness falls, night unfolds ebon wings to wrap the world in its dark embrace"
City Of Heroes:
NinjaMonkeyTS08 (All Servers: Levels 3 - 11)
Pinnacle:
Dark Nyssa (Level 8)
Lady Icefire (Level 8)
Gold Spider (Level 7)
CrystalStar (Level 8)
Nova Sentari (Level 8)
Evil Crystal (Level 10)
Virtue:
Necromina (Level 18) - Disaccord
Guardian:
HeatherCelestra (Level 3)
Retired:
Pinnacle: Lady-Death (Level 8 - )
Star Wars Galaxies:
Bloodfin: Aiyana Kangee(Zabrak); Eclipse: Zohna-Minea Api(Zabrak); Flurry: KirinaSpecturra(Wookie); Sunrunner: Drusida Skia(Human)
World of Warcraft:
Deathwing: Crysmina (NE, Level 16-Druid) & Tyruamina (NE, Level 5-Hunter)
Everquest II:
Najena: Tymina(Dark Elf)
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| 11/22/04 11:11 |
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Spazz
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| QUOTE | | 11. Why isn't the number 11 pronounced onety one? |
Ah man it isnt pronounced onety one?!? time to go back to school for Spazz
***THIS POST HAS BEEN EDITED***
Hurray For Velcro!
CoH
Guardian
-Electro-Magnet - lvl 31
-BD Spaz - lvl 13
On All Servers - Spaz.
WoW
Shattered Hand
-Spazaran - Dwarf Paladin - Miner/Blacksmith
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| 11/22/04 18:29 |
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Furyfire
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Thats quite a few things to wonder about, yes..... yes..... >.>
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| 11/22/04 20:32 |
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TheTwilightHour
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Haha funny stuff
For #15, in NYC from what I remember, in hair color they either put Bald or N/A ;D
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| 11/23/04 17:04 |
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Kandriel
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are people so dumb and absent minded that they need a sign that reads "no smoking" at either a firework stand or a firework factory?
"If i cared I'd send a card, "Dear Mickey, Happy Birthday. Love George." But I don't! Why? Don't give a s**t. No wonder nobody takes our country seriously. We celebrate the birthday of an imaginary rodent.
Liberty - Kandriel, Bio Weapon Un.00 and Xaphini.
Pinnacle - The Bladesmith
Freedom - Kandriel, BioWeapon Un.00
EVERY server - Evil Mapserver
| PARENTAL | | ADVISORY | KANDRIEL CONTAINS
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From Go-Quiz.com
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| 11/23/04 17:47 |
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DJ_Absinth
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In a word... yes.
"What is it about the dark places that draw my existance in? The night? The dormant shadows? I would give up my immortal desires to know."
| PARENTAL | | ADVISORY | DJ ABSINTH CONTAINS
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| 11/23/04 18:04 |
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Sapphire_Gypsy
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Most women can't put on mascara without opening their mouths... it's a concentration thing ;) I can from years of practice and contacts... but it's easier to just open your mouth :)
BTW... it actually opens yor eyes wider.... another reason we do it... check it out :)
George Carlin Rip off... !!! At least you can do it right...
Easy as pie... but cake is easy too... Piece of cake..... my god I'm a nerd. :)
Here's one for you...
Why do we drive on a parkway and park on a driveway????
I'm not a Super Hero, but I play one on PC!
I didn't even cheat to get the result... first try!
Your results:
You are Wonder Woman| Wonder Woman |
| 92% | | Spider-Man |
| 90% | | Superman |
| 85% | | Green Lantern |
| 85% | | Supergirl |
| 82% | | The Flash |
| 75% | | Robin |
| 65% | | Hulk |
| 55% | | Iron Man |
| 50% | | Catwoman |
| 40% | | Batman |
| 40% |
| You are a beautiful princess
with great strength of character.
|
Click here to take the "Which Superhero are you?" quiz...
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| 11/23/04 19:38 |
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GlacialRain
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why ask why. try bud dry
*runs behind boxes for cover*
Haelin 16 Human Summoner - Permafrost
I taste like Bread.
I am a staple in almost everyone's diet. Friends like me are a complement to any other friends I get on with almost everyone, remaining mostly in the background, but providing substance when it would otherwise be lacking. What Flavour Are You?
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| 11/23/04 21:01 |
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Kharano
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I found a list of a bunch of these Crazy Thoughts
Can a person with no ears wear eyeglasses?
Are children in R-rated movies allowed to see them?
Isn't Disney World a giant people trap operated by a mouse?
***THIS POST HAS BEEN EDITED***
Live in your world
Get Pwned in mine
 Just hangin around.....
| 11/23/04 21:18 |
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potluck
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umm dont thank abut it
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| 11/23/04 22:17 |
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CrystalStar1
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| QUOTE | | are people so dumb and absent minded that they need a sign that reads \"no smoking\" at either a firework stand or a firework factory? |
Actually, I think it is scarier to think that the reason they put the sign up.....or add somethings to directions/warnings/etc is because someone did it and they have to now tell people not to because they know someone has done it in the past......Like, oh.......smoking while walking through on a Liquid Hydrogen/Oxygen leak inspection :/
"As darkness falls, night unfolds ebon wings to wrap the world in its dark embrace"
City Of Heroes:
NinjaMonkeyTS08 (All Servers: Levels 3 - 11)
Pinnacle:
Dark Nyssa (Level 8)
Lady Icefire (Level 8)
Gold Spider (Level 7)
CrystalStar (Level 8)
Nova Sentari (Level 8)
Evil Crystal (Level 10)
Virtue:
Necromina (Level 18) - Disaccord
Guardian:
HeatherCelestra (Level 3)
Retired:
Pinnacle: Lady-Death (Level 8 - )
Star Wars Galaxies:
Bloodfin: Aiyana Kangee(Zabrak); Eclipse: Zohna-Minea Api(Zabrak); Flurry: KirinaSpecturra(Wookie); Sunrunner: Drusida Skia(Human)
World of Warcraft:
Deathwing: Crysmina (NE, Level 16-Druid) & Tyruamina (NE, Level 5-Hunter)
Everquest II:
Najena: Tymina(Dark Elf)
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| 11/24/04 07:14 |
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Kandriel
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hmmm sounds interesting. i feel sorry for the first guy that was pumping gas at Cicle K and dropped his cigarette into the fumes and blow the entire lot up. must have been cool to see though. FIRE!!!
open eyes: does it REALLY open your eyes wider or are you just making things up to justify why girls open their mouths while doing something that is rutine.
"If i cared I'd send a card, "Dear Mickey, Happy Birthday. Love George." But I don't! Why? Don't give a s**t. No wonder nobody takes our country seriously. We celebrate the birthday of an imaginary rodent.
Liberty - Kandriel, Bio Weapon Un.00 and Xaphini.
Pinnacle - The Bladesmith
Freedom - Kandriel, BioWeapon Un.00
EVERY server - Evil Mapserver
| PARENTAL | | ADVISORY | KANDRIEL CONTAINS
EXPLICIT LYRICS |
From Go-Quiz.com
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| 11/24/04 11:07 |
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CrystalStar1
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Don't ask me......I don't use Mascare.....I didn't spell that right did I?
Well, I don't wear a lot of make up.....I think the last day I did......actually was my wedding day?.....or halloween two years ago? Not sure......
"As darkness falls, night unfolds ebon wings to wrap the world in its dark embrace"
City Of Heroes:
NinjaMonkeyTS08 (All Servers: Levels 3 - 11)
Pinnacle:
Dark Nyssa (Level 8)
Lady Icefire (Level 8)
Gold Spider (Level 7)
CrystalStar (Level 8)
Nova Sentari (Level 8)
Evil Crystal (Level 10)
Virtue:
Necromina (Level 18) - Disaccord
Guardian:
HeatherCelestra (Level 3)
Retired:
Pinnacle: Lady-Death (Level 8 - )
Star Wars Galaxies:
Bloodfin: Aiyana Kangee(Zabrak); Eclipse: Zohna-Minea Api(Zabrak); Flurry: KirinaSpecturra(Wookie); Sunrunner: Drusida Skia(Human)
World of Warcraft:
Deathwing: Crysmina (NE, Level 16-Druid) & Tyruamina (NE, Level 5-Hunter)
Everquest II:
Najena: Tymina(Dark Elf)
|
| 11/24/04 12:04 |
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Sapphire_Gypsy
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try it.... go look in the mirror.... try to touch your eyelashes.. then open your mouth... dropping my jaw has always opened my eyes wider...
I don't wear it often but when I do I don't bother to open my mouth anymore.... part of having contacts forever I guess....
OK that Disney thing is really funny :)
I'm not a Super Hero, but I play one on PC!
I didn't even cheat to get the result... first try!
Your results:
You are Wonder Woman| Wonder Woman |
| 92% | | Spider-Man |
| 90% | | Superman |
| 85% | | Green Lantern |
| 85% | | Supergirl |
| 82% | | The Flash |
| 75% | | Robin |
| 65% | | Hulk |
| 55% | | Iron Man |
| 50% | | Catwoman |
| 40% | | Batman |
| 40% |
| You are a beautiful princess
with great strength of character.
|
Click here to take the "Which Superhero are you?" quiz...
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| 11/24/04 19:30 |
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darkraptor
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here, got one for you guys: go here
http://budlight.whipnet.com/
quality humour :)
/rant
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| 11/24/04 22:32 |
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Spazz
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| QUOTE | | try it.... go look in the mirror.... try to touch your eyelashes.. then open your mouth... |
I cant believe i trusted you! i ended up poking myself in the eye! it really hurt!
Hurray For Velcro!
CoH
Guardian
-Electro-Magnet - lvl 31
-BD Spaz - lvl 13
On All Servers - Spaz.
WoW
Shattered Hand
-Spazaran - Dwarf Paladin - Miner/Blacksmith
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| 11/26/04 18:24 |
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undergradNITZ
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hey everyone...im new but i do know one thing....spazz really sucks...im just gona poke at him for awhile later...then put him on the streets to work it cuz i need some extra cash...once he gets an STD im gona let "carney's" brother after him...and there gona have a long talk in the back of the truck on the way back from mandarin...
its some type of...orangey....... peach....its like somebody through up and decided to call it a color..
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| 11/26/04 23:22 |
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Kandriel
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that's not nice. at least give him some chewing gum
"If i cared I'd send a card, "Dear Mickey, Happy Birthday. Love George." But I don't! Why? Don't give a s**t. No wonder nobody takes our country seriously. We celebrate the birthday of an imaginary rodent.
Liberty - Kandriel, Bio Weapon Un.00 and Xaphini.
Pinnacle - The Bladesmith
Freedom - Kandriel, BioWeapon Un.00
EVERY server - Evil Mapserver
| PARENTAL | | ADVISORY | KANDRIEL CONTAINS
EXPLICIT LYRICS |
From Go-Quiz.com
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| 11/29/04 11:35 |
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KraZeDKaoZ
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Always picking on Spazz...lol
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| 11/29/04 13:22 |
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Kandriel
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if Christmas is Jesus' birthday, then how come people don't sing happy birthday for him. and why didn't they call it Jesus Day or Jesus' Birthday or something.
"If i cared I'd send a card, "Dear Mickey, Happy Birthday. Love George." But I don't! Why? Don't give a s**t. No wonder nobody takes our country seriously. We celebrate the birthday of an imaginary rodent.
Liberty - Kandriel, Bio Weapon Un.00 and Xaphini.
Pinnacle - The Bladesmith
Freedom - Kandriel, BioWeapon Un.00
EVERY server - Evil Mapserver
| PARENTAL | | ADVISORY | KANDRIEL CONTAINS
EXPLICIT LYRICS |
From Go-Quiz.com
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| 12/06/04 14:23 |
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Furyfire
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Acually.. your right >.>
Though most people know jesus wasnt born on that day.. methinks..
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| 12/07/04 11:33 |
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