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Harrow The Pious
Posts: 4
Joined: 12/09/2005
Credibility: 0 pts
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Why do we press harder on a remote control when we know the batteries are getting weak?
Why do banks charge a fee on "insufficient funds" when they know there is not enough?
Why does someone believe you when you say there are four billion stars, but check when you say the paint is wet?
Why doesn't glue stick to the bottle?
Why do they use sterilized needles for death by lethal injection?
Why doesn't Tarzan have a beard?
Why does Superman stop bullets with his chest, but ducks when you throw a revolver at him?
Why do Kamikaze pilots wear helmets?
Whose idea was it to put an "S" in the word "lisp"?
If people evolved from apes, why are there still apes?
Why is it that no matter what color bubble bath you use the bubbles are always white?
Is there ever a day that mattresses are not on sale?
Why do people constantly return to the refrigerator with hopes that something new to eat will have materialized?
Why do people keep running over a string a dozen times with their vacuum cleaner, then reach down, pick it up, examine it, then put it down to give the vacuum one more chance?
Why is it that no plastic bag will open from the end on your first try?
How do those dead bugs get into those enclosed light fixtures?
Why is it that whenever you attempt to catch something that's falling off the table you always manage to knock something else over?
In winter why do we try to keep the house as warm as it was in summer when we complained about the heat?
How come you never hear father-in-law jokes?
If money doesn't grow on trees then why do banks have branches?
Since bread is square, then why is sandwich meat round?
Why do you have to "put your two cents in".. but it's only a
"penny for your thoughts"? Where's that extra penny going to?
Why does a round pizza come in a square box?
How is it that we put man on the moon before we figured out it
would be a good idea to put wheels on luggage?
Why is it that people say they "slept like a baby" when babies
wake up like every two hours?
If a deaf person has to go to court, is it still called a
hearing?
Why are you IN a movie, but you're ON TV?
Why do people pay to go up tall buildings & then put money in
binoculars to look at things on the ground?
How come we choose from just two people for President and fifty
for Miss America?
Why do doctors leave the room while you change? They're going
to see you naked anyway.
If a 911 operator has a heart attack, whom does he/she call?
Why do toasters always have a setting that burns the toast to a
horrible crisp, which no decent human being would eat?
Why is there a light in the fridge and not in the freezer?
If Jimmy cracks corn and no one cares, why is there a stupid
song about him?
Can a hearse carrying a corpse drive in the carpool lane?
If the professor on Gilligan's Island can make a radio out of a
coconut, why can't he fix a hole in a boat?
Why do people point to their wrist when asking for the time,
but don't point to their crotch when they ask where the
bathroom is?
Why does Goofy stand erect while Pluto remains on all fours?
They're both dogs!
What do you call male ballerinas?
Can blind people see their dreams?
If Wyle E. Coyote had enough money to buy all that ACME crap,
why didn't he just buy dinner?
If corn oil is made from corn, and vegetable oil is made from
vegetables, what is baby oil made from?
If electricity comes from electrons, does morality come from
morons?
Is Disney World the only people trap operated by a mouse?
Do the Alphabet song and Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star have the
same tune?
Why did you just try singing the two songs above?
Why do they call it an asteroid when it's outside the
hemisphere, but call it a hemorrhoid when it's in your ass?
If you have the answers to any of these questions please answer.
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| 02/05/07 21:57 |
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Damien Zarek
Posts: 0
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| RE: YOU GOTTA READ THIS!!! |
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Why doesn't glue stick to the bottle?
Glue doesn't stick to a bottle because it is not porous like other materials.
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| 02/05/07 22:19 |
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Mother Nature
Posts: 0
Joined: 02/12/2006
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| RE: YOU GOTTA READ THIS!!! |
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rofl thats amazing +cred.
| QUOTE | Can blind people see their dreams?
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-EDIT- Oh and I have an answer for you. Althought it is verryy confusing. If a blind person is blind from birth their dreams will have things and images that they had seen before they became blind. However, if they were born blind their dreams are based on the things they hear etc. :o -EDIT-
***THIS POST HAS BEEN EDITED***
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| 02/05/07 22:20 |
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URB4N_S4MUR41
Posts: 7
Joined: 06/10/2006
Credibility: 0 pts
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| RE: YOU GOTTA READ THIS!!! |
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question:
What color is a mirror?
What language do babies think in?
Plz answer.
WE SHOULD NOT SHED TEARS,
THAT IS A SURRENDER oF THE BODy TO THE HEART,
IT IS ONLY PROOF,
THAT WE ARE BEINGS THAT DO NOT KNOW WHAT TO DO WITH OUR HEARTS...
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| 02/05/07 22:23 |
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Rogue
Posts: 28
Joined: 12/09/2005
Credibility: 0 pts
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| RE: YOU GOTTA READ THIS!!! |
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| QUOTE | Whose idea was it to put an "S" in the word "lisp"?
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mine, because i love irony.
IGN: Rogue Mysst. Guest me for GvG.
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| 02/05/07 22:29 |
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naughtyca
Posts: 1
Joined: 03/11/2006
Credibility: 0 pts
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| RE: YOU GOTTA READ THIS!!! |
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| QUOTE | | What do you call male ballerinas? |
A ballerina is a female ballet dancer. A male ballet dancer is called a danseur. ^^
 | Evenstar Series
Evenstar Of Gondor
Evenstar Of Rohan
Evenstar Of Mordor
Evenstar Of Nazgul
Evenstar Of Eriador
Evenstar Of Angmar
Evenstar Of Rhudaur
Evenstar Of Valinor
Evenstar Of Arnor
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| 02/05/07 22:29 |
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Crossbow
Posts: 19
Joined: 09/09/2006
Credibility: 0 pts
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| RE: YOU GOTTA READ THIS!!! |
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| QUOTE | Do the Alphabet song and Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star have the
same tune?
Why did you just try singing the two songs above? |
Lol, I got caught doing this.
| QUOTE | Why do they call it an asteroid when it's outside the
hemisphere, but call it a hemorrhoid when it's in your ass? |
Haha, funny funny.
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| 02/05/07 22:35 |
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mwpeck
GameAmp Staff
Posts: 24
Joined: 11/24/2005
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| RE: YOU GOTTA READ THIS!!! |
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| QUOTE | | Why is it that whenever you attempt to catch something that's falling off the table you always manage to knock something else over? |
| QUOTE | | Why is there a light in the fridge and not in the freezer? |
| QUOTE | question:
What color is a mirror?
What language do babies think in?
Plz answer. |
The glass part of the mirror is glass, therefore clear....the backing is a silvery reflective surface...therefore technically mirror's are silver.
The same language they talk in; jibberish.
***THIS POST HAS BEEN EDITED***
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| 02/05/07 22:36 |
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Alphic Guardian
Posts: 2
Joined: 12/13/2006
Credibility: 0 pts
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| RE: YOU GOTTA READ THIS!!! |
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| QUOTE |
How come you never hear father-in-law jokes? |
because if you told a joke about your father-in-law he'll chase and hunt you down.
| QUOTE | | Why do banks charge a fee on "insufficient funds" when they know there is not enough? |
because bankers are SADISTS (no offense to anybody that's a banker)
***THIS POST HAS BEEN EDITED***
"There are two things that are infinite: the universe and human stupidity, and I'm not sure about the former." -Albert Einstein
You tried your best and you failed miserably. The lesson is 'never try'. -Homer Simpson
"Friendship is like peeing on yourself: everyone can see it, but only you get the warm feeling that it brings." -http://www.coolfunnyquotes.com/
"...huh?" -Alphic Guardian
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| 02/05/07 22:40 |
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DarkDoe
Posts: 0
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| RE: YOU GOTTA READ THIS!!! |
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Why do you drive on a parkway and park on a driveway?
gf told me this one after reading this with me :)
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| 02/05/07 22:42 |
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Jade Shane
Posts: 13
Joined: 01/18/2006
Credibility: 6 pts
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| RE: YOU GOTTA READ THIS!!! |
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| QUOTE | Why do you drive on a parkway and park on a driveway?
gf told me this one after reading this with me :) |
lol whole thing is good, but you make a good point also :)
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| 02/05/07 22:48 |
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Alphic Guardian
Posts: 2
Joined: 12/13/2006
Credibility: 0 pts
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| RE: YOU GOTTA READ THIS!!! |
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lol I love this topic...+cred
w00t I didn't kill the thread this time
| QUOTE | | Why doesn't Tarzan have a beard? |
because he starved in the wild and ate his beard
***THIS POST HAS BEEN EDITED***
"There are two things that are infinite: the universe and human stupidity, and I'm not sure about the former." -Albert Einstein
You tried your best and you failed miserably. The lesson is 'never try'. -Homer Simpson
"Friendship is like peeing on yourself: everyone can see it, but only you get the warm feeling that it brings." -http://www.coolfunnyquotes.com/
"...huh?" -Alphic Guardian
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| 02/05/07 22:50 |
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Brynden
Posts: 45
Joined: 02/28/2006
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| RE: YOU GOTTA READ THIS!!! |
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| QUOTE | | If people evolved from apes, why are there still apes? |
As far as the current theory goes, unless I'm mistaken, humans did not evolve from apes. That's just the convenient thing that people say. Scientists currently think that humans and the apes of today had a common ancestor roughly a million years ago, I think. They are still seeking this common ancestor, though, so it's definitely not certain.
Signature by Mimori
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| 02/05/07 23:21 |
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NecroRebel
Posts: 15
Joined: 10/11/2005
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| RE: YOU GOTTA READ THIS!!! |
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[| QUOTE | | Why do we press harder on a remote control when we know the batteries are getting weak? |
Usually the buttons get stuck before the batteries run out, so we take the "buttons stuck" solution first.
| QUOTE | | Why do banks charge a fee on "insufficient funds" when they know there is not enough? |
Either they're sadists, or they want to discourage you from having too little money in the bank. Probably the former.
| QUOTE | | Why does someone believe you when you say there are four billion stars, but check when you say the paint is wet? |
It takes too much effort to count stars, especially if you might have to count 4 billion of them :P
| QUOTE | | Why doesn't glue stick to the bottle? |
Like was said, the bottle isn't porous, so the glue can't get into the pores and dry, so it can't stick.
| QUOTE | | Why do they use sterilized needles for death by lethal injection? |
In case the execution is stopped after the needle is put in but before the injection is given.
| QUOTE | | Why doesn't Tarzan have a beard? |
Genetics. He's naturally beardless.
OR
He got sprayed in the face by a nasty creature that secretes a chemical that kills hair folicles permanently.
| QUOTE | | Why does Superman stop bullets with his chest, but ducks when you throw a revolver at him? |
He's like a diamond... If you hit him just right, he'll shatter.
| QUOTE | | Why do Kamikaze pilots wear helmets? |
So they can survive long enough to get the plane to the ship.
| QUOTE | | Whose idea was it to put an "S" in the word "lisp"? |
A banker. They're sadists, you know.
| QUOTE | | If people evolved from apes, why are there still apes? |
Not every ape had the need to evolve.
| QUOTE | | Why is it that no matter what color bubble bath you use the bubbles are always white? |
They aren't. The bubbles are just so thin that the light passing through them doesn't have sufficient time to get off-color light absorbed, so most of the light goes through untainted.
| QUOTE | | Is there ever a day that mattresses are not on sale? |
Yes. February 31st, every year.
| QUOTE | | Why do people constantly return to the refrigerator with hopes that something new to eat will have materialized? |
Because they watch Star Trek, where something new to eat WILL materialize.
| QUOTE | | Why do people keep running over a string a dozen times with their vacuum cleaner, then reach down, pick it up, examine it, then put it down to give the vacuum one more chance? |
We like to give vacuums a fair chance, however much they suck.
| QUOTE | | Why is it that no plastic bag will open from the end on your first try? |
I don't know what bag's you've been trying, but mine do all the time.
| QUOTE | | How do those dead bugs get into those enclosed light fixtures? |
Dead bugs teleport spontaneously.
| QUOTE | | Why is it that whenever you attempt to catch something that's falling off the table you always manage to knock something else over? |
Isn't that just practice for a juggling act?
| QUOTE | | In winter why do we try to keep the house as warm as it was in summer when we complained about the heat? |
You need something to complain about, don't you?
| QUOTE | | How come you never hear father-in-law jokes? |
Mother-in-law can be rearranged to spell Woman Hitler. The same is not true of father-in-law.
| QUOTE | | If money doesn't grow on trees then why do banks have branches? |
You pick fruit from tree branches, but you put money in bank branches. Banks are the exact opposite of trees.
| QUOTE | | Since bread is square, then why is sandwich meat round? |
It's necessary for the rabbits to conquer the Earth.
| QUOTE | Why do you have to "put your two cents in".. but it's only a
"penny for your thoughts"? Where's that extra penny going to? |
The Rabbit Domination Fund.
| QUOTE | | Why does a round pizza come in a square box? |
It's necessary for the parrots to stop the rabbits.
| QUOTE | How is it that we put man on the moon before we figured out it
would be a good idea to put wheels on luggage? |
Obviously, a spaceship is a simpler concept than wheeled luggage. Have you ever seen a wheeled spaceship? That's the next step.
| QUOTE | Why is it that people say they "slept like a baby" when babies
wake up like every two hours? |
Why do people say that they "slept like a log" when logs don't sleep at all?
| QUOTE | If a deaf person has to go to court, is it still called a
hearing? |
Yes, they just aren't hearing it.
| QUOTE | | Why are you IN a movie, but you're ON TV? |
You can't well sit on a movie, now can you?
| QUOTE | Why do people pay to go up tall buildings & then put money in
binoculars to look at things on the ground? |
They don't know how to fly... Yet. The gophers are working on it.
| QUOTE | How come we choose from just two people for President and fifty
for Miss America? |
There's greater differences between many women than many men. Men are all the same, you know?
| QUOTE | Why do doctors leave the room while you change? They're going
to see you naked anyway. |
It gives you a chance to hide any drugs you may have accidentally brought with you.
| QUOTE | | If a 911 operator has a heart attack, whom does he/she call? |
The operator in the cubicle next to them.
| QUOTE | Why do toasters always have a setting that burns the toast to a
horrible crisp, which no decent human being would eat? |
Frozen bagels maybe?
| QUOTE | | Why is there a light in the fridge and not in the freezer? |
You don't need to see the frozen food.
| QUOTE | If Jimmy cracks corn and no one cares, why is there a stupid
song about him? |
The gophers wrote it so the parrots couldn't conquer the world.
| QUOTE | | Can a hearse carrying a corpse drive in the carpool lane? |
Nope. A corpse isn't technically a person, so you aren't carpooling.
| QUOTE | If the professor on Gilligan's Island can make a radio out of a
coconut, why can't he fix a hole in a boat? |
He could. He didn't like the boat, though... That's why he messed with the navigation systems to crash it.
| QUOTE | Why do people point to their wrist when asking for the time,
but don't point to their crotch when they ask where the
bathroom is? |
People keep clocks on their wrists, but they don't keep bathrooms in their crotches.
| QUOTE | Why does Goofy stand erect while Pluto remains on all fours?
They're both dogs! |
One of them just isn't that smart. Goofy doesn't even realize he's a dog!
| QUOTE | | What do you call male ballerinas? |
There isn't any such thing... Ballerinas are female by definition.
| QUOTE | | Can blind people see their dreams? |
If their dream is to see, yes.
| QUOTE | If Wyle E. Coyote had enough money to buy all that ACME crap,
why didn't he just buy dinner? |
You can't buy road runner... It's the most delectable meat, especially when properly tenderized, ideally with a large boulder. Also, Mr. Coyote used a credit card under a false name (B. B. Wolfe, specifically).
| QUOTE | If corn oil is made from corn, and vegetable oil is made from
vegetables, what is baby oil made from? |
I'd think that would be obvious.
| QUOTE | If electricity comes from electrons, does morality come from
morons? |
You've got it mixed up. Electricity comes from places getting RID of electrons. Morality, thus, comes from places getting rid of morons.
| QUOTE | | Is Disney World the only people trap operated by a mouse? |
Nope. Disney Land is one too, as is EuroDisney.
| QUOTE | Do the Alphabet song and Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star have the
same tune? |
Yes.
| QUOTE | | Why did you just try singing the two songs above? |
I didn't.
| QUOTE | Why do they call it an asteroid when it's outside the
hemisphere, but call it a hemorrhoid when it's in your ass? |
I blame the Greeks. It's all Athens' fault.
| QUOTE | | If you have the answers to any of these questions please answer. |
I think I covered that pretty well...
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| 02/05/07 23:43 |
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Charlotte The Harlot
Posts: 4
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| RE: YOU GOTTA READ THIS!!! |
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| QUOTE | | Can blind people see their dreams? |
im blind and find this offensive.
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| 02/05/07 23:43 |
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everdream
GameAmp Staff
Posts: 108
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| RE: YOU GOTTA READ THIS!!! |
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| QUOTE | | Why doesn't Tarzan have a beard? |
because Jane wouldn't be caught dead around him then.
All lies and jest, still a man hears what he wants to hear and disregards the rest.
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| 02/05/07 23:52 |
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Octivous Servil
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| RE: YOU GOTTA READ THIS!!! |
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You forgot one of my favs...
Why is there braille on a drive-up ATM machine?
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| 02/06/07 00:31 |
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laggy
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| RE: YOU GOTTA READ THIS!!! |
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| QUOTE | | im blind and find this offensive. |
Now, don't get me wrong. You may be saying that for humour, but if you really are blind why are you on a forum for a game that requires sight to play and/or actually benefit from?
Siggy gone on a little holiday. He promised to return when I thought of something witty.
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| 02/06/07 00:38 |
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DH0416
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| RE: YOU GOTTA READ THIS!!! |
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Why is it that people say they "slept like a baby" when babies wake up like every two hours?
Because that is only true for the first 2-3 months or so. After that they can sleep 10-12 hours and very sound.
This a forum, a place where popular and unpopular opinions are voiced. If you don't like what I have to say, I don't care. Logically tell me how or why I am wrong, and we can discuss it. Reply to me the way an upset 10 year old replies, and you will be spoken to as such.
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| 02/06/07 15:21 |
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DH0416
Posts: 1
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| RE: YOU GOTTA READ THIS!!! |
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Here is another one...
Why do we drive on parkways and park on driveways??
This a forum, a place where popular and unpopular opinions are voiced. If you don't like what I have to say, I don't care. Logically tell me how or why I am wrong, and we can discuss it. Reply to me the way an upset 10 year old replies, and you will be spoken to as such.
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| 02/06/07 15:22 |
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DH0416
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| RE: YOU GOTTA READ THIS!!! |
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| QUOTE | | QUOTE | | Can blind people see their dreams? |
im blind and find this offensive. |
Get over it!!!
This a forum, a place where popular and unpopular opinions are voiced. If you don't like what I have to say, I don't care. Logically tell me how or why I am wrong, and we can discuss it. Reply to me the way an upset 10 year old replies, and you will be spoken to as such.
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| 02/06/07 15:26 |
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The_Rejected
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| RE: YOU GOTTA READ THIS!!! |
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Why do we press Start to turn off our computers?
Why are apartments all stuck together?
If pro is the opposite of con, isn't progress the opposite of congress?
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| 02/07/07 02:13 |
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Txen_Viong
Posts: 7
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| RE: YOU GOTTA READ THIS!!! |
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| QUOTE | | Why do we press Start to turn off our computers? |
I use the shortcut to turn off my computer.
| QUOTE | | Why are apartments all stuck together? |
It makes it easier to lean out and look in the others window.
| QUOTE | | If pro is the opposite of con, isn't progress the opposite of congress? |
That one has been around for, oh probably before you were born. :) But dont take my word for it.
"I haven't tested it yet, but it should be safe. Just a bit of harmless brain alteration"
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| 02/07/07 03:21 |
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Il Onlyblue Il
Posts: 1
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| RE: YOU GOTTA READ THIS!!! |
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| QUOTE |
Why do people constantly return to the refrigerator with hopes that something new to eat will have materialized?
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I think I call this "Keeping Inventory"... Never know who's going to steal my food. Also, for those late night snacks, opening the fridge is like russian roulette, you never know what you're in the mood for until your stomach 'sees' whats inside. ^^
| QUOTE | | If people evolved from apes, why are there still apes? |
| QUOTE | | Why does Goofy stand erect while Pluto remains on all fours? They're both dogs! |
Survival of the fittest! Those that evolve have been forced to do such in the course of their evolution. And yes, regarding the evolution from apes and this 'common ancestor', most refer to this as 'The Missing Link'
ANNNNDD... Since most apes don't play GuildWars... reason enough to evolve right?
Same rule applies for Goofy and Pluto rather, all dogs started upright and devolve to their 4-legged kin. Seeing as how Goofy is so 'special' and Pluto seems much more smarter it would only be the logical answer.
***THIS POST HAS BEEN EDITED***
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| 02/07/07 04:12 |
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