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Weahawk

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Joined: 03/12/2007
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Simply Elegant Goblin Stew

I cook this up when I am adventuring, seems like those vile gobbers are everywhere; some even try to pass themselves off as fellow adventurers, but lets face it they will never be more then a food sorce.

<------CASE IN POINT

The abundance and availability of Goblins throughout many regions of Telon make them a great source of food for the table or camp fire. Goblins are grouped into two categories: Kojan and thralls. While the latter can be prepared into a fine dish by using a cooking method or ingredients that will help to tenderize the meat (such as Pounding the meat or by marinating it), the Kojan is a much better candidate for the dinner table.

As with many other game animals, the age of the Goblin plays a major role in the final success of your dish. Kojans do not normally live more than about twenty-two years in the wild. Before skinning a Goblin, try to determine the foul beasts age because this may affect the way you cook it.

A young Goblin is normally smaller than an older one, and a young Goblin has soft, flexible ears and a small cleft in the upper lip; an old one has stiffer ears and a deeply cleft upper lip. The meat in an older animal is darker, and the teeth will darken and discolor with age.

Goblins occasionally carry diseases that can be transmitted to the higher races. Therefore, you should wear gloves for dressing, skinning and all stages of kitchen or campfire preparation. But don't worry--thorough cooking will destroy all the disease.

In the field, after you have skinned the Goblin make sure that it's well cooled before placing it into a leather sack. Bring a jug of ice with you to assure that your bounty will be kept properly chilled.

Once home, wash the Goblin under cold running water and pat dry. If you plan on curing the meat, it is best to dismember it first, allowing you to arrange it into a compact bundle. To dismember the Goblin, place it on its back and use a butcher knife to cut the back legs near the backbone. When you come to the leg bone, stop cutting and use your hands to bend the legs back to pop the ball and socket joint. Use your knife to finish removing the legs.

Remove the front legs by cutting close to the rib cage, and then cut the Goblin in half behind the ribs. If you are going to cure the meat, double-wrap it with cotton clothe and write the date on the package.

I generally figure that one Goblin will provide plenty of meat for two people. However, to be on the safe side I usually figure on three Goblins for four people.

Goblins can easily be substituted in recipes that call for pheasant, chicken or squirrel. A young one will make a delicious dinner if pan-fried and served with cream gravy. To roast a Goblin, place its front legs into its ribs and tie its back legs together (you may stuff the Goblin with your favorite dressing if you wish).

Baste the Goblin with butter, and sprinkle a little thyme and pepper over it.

Roast at 400 degrees for 20 minutes; remove some logs allowing the fire to cool down to 350 degrees, and continue cooking for about 40 minutes or until done.
Simply Elegant Goblin Stew
Serves 3-4
2 Goblins, dismembered 4 thick slices of bacon
1 tbs. oil 2/3 cup flour
1 tsp. salt 1/2 tsp. white pepper
1 cup chicken broth 2 cups water
1/4 lb. shitake mushrooms
washed and sliced 4 medium potatoes, peeled
and cut into bite sized pieces
2 medium onions, peeled
and sliced into thin rings 2 cloves of garlic, peeled
and crushed
1/4 cup snipped parsley 1/2 tsp. salt
1/4 tsp. white pepper dash of cayenne
1 cup sour cream parsley and paprika for garnish

In a large Fire proof pot, cook bacon until brown and crisp. Remove and. Drain off all but four tablespoons of bacon drippings and add in oil. Place the flour, one teaspoon of salt and half-teaspoon of white pepper in plastic bag. Add the Goblin and shake to coat well. Fry the rabbit in the bacon grease until brown on all sides. Add the chicken broth, water, mushrooms, potatoes, onions, garlic, and parsley, half-teaspoon of salt, half-teaspoon of white pepper, cayenne and bacon pieces. Cover and place in red hot oven at 350 degrees. Bake for 45 minutes to one hour. Remove from oven and stir in sour cream. Place on serving plates and garnish with parsley and paprika. Serve with buttered little carrots, rye bread and a glass of dark ale. This also works well for the Raki!!

Phe, she plumps when I cook her. Can I eat her? Can I? :-)

***THIS POST HAS BEEN EDITED***

03/14/07 21:39

Phedre_D

GameAmp Staff
Posts: 464
Joined: 05/09/2005
Credibility: 26 pts

RE: Simply Elegant Goblin Stew

Mouthwatering! But I think you will have some trouble getting a certain goblin to comply. She has a rather large hammer, a ferucious mutt and a scary fox-demon girl that has a soft spot for her.

03/15/07 05:11

lani

GameAmp Staff
Posts: 595
Joined: 09/08/2005
Credibility: 28 pts

RE: Simply Elegant Goblin Stew

Sheer plagiarism!

You think I don't recognize the recipe?
It's a historical way of cooking Gnomes!

Btw, older goblins are smaller due to deterioration in the spinal column and their skin turns brownish rather than apple green.
Clefts in lips? Come here and I'll give you one.
Boy, you may be a good innkeeper, but as an anthropologist, you suck :-)

Now, go submit some more screenies :-)

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03/15/07 06:45

Weahawk

Posts: 1
Joined: 03/12/2007
Credibility: 0 pts

RE: Simply Elegant Goblin Stew

I just cook them and eat them :) To tell you the truth they all look the same to me ;)

Oh I like soft spots... they are the most tender cut of any beast...

***THIS POST HAS BEEN EDITED***

03/15/07 08:14

lani

GameAmp Staff
Posts: 595
Joined: 09/08/2005
Credibility: 28 pts

RE: Simply Elegant Goblin Stew

Well, I guess Dun Ringill skipped cooking class in Hathor Zi's Dark Academy.
Luckily 'Raaf' paid more attention to details so she can quote from "Haelifur's Tome of Flambé Cooking", the text-book from the advanced cuisine course.

QUOTE

"Upon making the wrong choice between eating a member of the Goblinoid races (Gremlins, Goblins, Orcs) or a Thestran Ranger's discarded old boots, one quickly learns that an Old Boot has a lot to recommend it. Regardless, any young drake will make this mistake. Once and once only..."

Seriously, if you want to open an Inn, re-roll in the Dark Academy and grovel your way through the domestic courses. The only races you'll find willing to eat Goblin are the Half and Full giants. They don't have taste buds, which is why it's cheaper to feed them gravel :-)

03/15/07 09:02

thejeni

Posts: 26
Joined: 08/12/2004
Credibility: 0 pts

RE: Simply Elegant Goblin Stew

Great, not I'm craving some Goblin Stew. Thanks a lot, I'll never find all the ingredients here!

Siggy created by DeathFetish.

03/15/07 10:18

blackphoenix

Posts: 123
Joined: 09/23/2005
Credibility: 0 pts

RE: Simply Elegant Goblin Stew

I have a recommendations for a grand opening event. Goblin toss! I'm sure it would be a great way to tenderize those goblins for in the goblin stew later on too.

03/15/07 10:58

Weahawk

Posts: 1
Joined: 03/12/2007
Credibility: 0 pts

Roast stuffed Sucking Goblin

<---- and that was a HUGE apple!

Roast Stuffed Suckling Goblin

In many northern Telan towns, roast Goblin is a traditional holiday entree. This may be a tradition traced to the ancient Stiirhad holiday of Haelufir which falls before the Winter Solstice. Although this has been replaced with free roaming field birds, in many Qalian cultures, some still celebrate with Goblin ;-)

1 suckling Goblin (8-10 lbs)
5 apples
2 large onions
1 quart bread crumbs
4 tbsp melted butter
4 tbsp chopped parsley
salt
pepper
sage or ginger
Wash the Goblin inside and out with a weak solution of baking soda, paying special attention to the head openings and mouth. Pour water off and lay the Goblin in salt water for about 15 minutes. Dry thoroughly.

Rub the inside of the Goblin well with salt. If desired, pepper and sifted sage or ginger may also be rubbed on the inside of the gobber.

Mix bread crumbs with peeled and finely chopped apples, onions, chopped parsley and melted butter. Add salt and pepper to taste and enough milk to moisten the mixture. Stuff the Goblin with this mixture.

Sew openings of Gob together. Cover the legs and ears with oiled paper and tie the legs back. Put an ear of corn into the Goblin's mouth to keep the jaws open.

Place the Golbin into a roasting pit until brown; then reduce heat to moderate until done. Baste frequently with plenty of fat. Do not allow any water or steam to form as it is likely to burst the skin and spoil the meat.

Put the peeled potatoes in the roasting pan around the Goblin about 3/4 of an hour before Gob is done. The time required for cooking the Gob is about 10 to 12 minutes per pound.

When done, insert a red apple into the mouth of the Gob and place it on a larger platter on a bed of sauerkraut. Surround the gobby with potatoes and some baked apples.

MMM MMM Goood!!!!

Seems to me that the meal is trying ot convience you that they are not good to eat... typical trick... trust me it lies, they are scrumdilisious!

***THIS POST HAS BEEN EDITED***

03/15/07 16:37

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