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imnotstupid two
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| how do i help with a depressed person? |
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my girlfriend, i love to the end of the earth. when we are together we are the happiest poeple on the planet.
when im home, and she is at her house, we talk on aim.
thing is, she gets so damned depressed it worries me.
she wont tell me whats wrong, and keeps talking about gothic things.
this is REALLY starting to worry the hell out of me.
what can i, or am i suppose to do?
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| 06/23/07 23:08 |
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Keo
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| RE: how do i help with a depressed person? |
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Age == ??
if(age < 18) {
it's just a phase;
}
else {
maybe she just needs someone to talk to about stuff;
}
Its easy to get depressed about stuff when you'r stuck indoors...physical activity makes you feel better, it's a chemical thing. Get her out doing something and she'll have less time to think about the bad stuff and more endorphines to make her feel good.
Sitting in front of a pc 24/7 makes you feel like crap...you need ot get out and do stuff...perhaps her loving bf can help her see the sun!
^_-
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| 06/23/07 23:13 |
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D_Smag
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| RE: how do i help with a depressed person? |
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Talk to her friend to see if they can tell you what's up.
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| 06/23/07 23:15 |
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Belshazaarswrath
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| RE: how do i help with a depressed person? |
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Withotu information on the source it is difficult to help. She most likely has her own issues. All people have problems they would rather not share. Even with the ones they love.
Being gothic is fine....whats wrong with that? I like being cryptic which is just as bad.
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| 06/23/07 23:31 |
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Il Onlyblue Il
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| RE: how do i help with a depressed person? |
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I'm not entirely sure that any of us here are truly qualified in treating depression. I've been diagnosed with Post-Traumatic stress and suffer from depression due to injuries sustained while serving in the US Air Force.
It could be a phase your girlfriend is going through or it could be something more. If you are really worried about her well-being, perhaps you should bring it to her parents attention.
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| 06/24/07 00:02 |
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Mimori
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| RE: how do i help with a depressed person? |
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Okay. Well, I was in a depression not that long ago… Talked to my friends therapist and tried following their recommendation(s).
Anyways. What helped me mostly was my friend(s).
Tor mostly, as well as Slye Boy and Fea.
My problem was when I was alone; I was able to think more about things. And the weight of the world seemed to drop on my shoulders and make me feel like I wasn’t good enough… like I was a failure and had no point really... I felt that I was a terrible friend and person… and I got scared of being that person.
But knowing my friends cared…made it easier. Even if they tried to help and it didn’t really solve problems, mostly made it worse…I pushed when I got afraid of who I was… I didn’t want a friend that I felt obligated to be around (online especially)…one that hurt me… for example.
What helped:
Staying up late, being there to talk, ya know… the basics. They just would joke around and play the game I love… Guild Wars! Of course, I got out of the house (usually at night It seemed) and went for a run or walk… I read up on religion, politics, art, music and movies… I tried fighting it by learning and figuring other things out and getting the fact that I ain’t so terrible out of my head!
Anyways. Just being there and pushing the fact you care and worry about her helps…when around her don’t always ask what’s wrong... but try to make her smile instead…forget about things for awhile... till she’s open to chat about them.
This is becoming awfully long, so I hope it helped you somewhat. With lack of information I’ll just go off what I know.
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| 06/24/07 00:03 |
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Health_Kill
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| RE: how do i help with a depressed person? |
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You can help by bringing to your friend some pie. Pie fixes everything, unless its a flavor your friend doesn't like.
If it doesn't fix anything well it at least got you close to your friend to talk some sense into her/him.
Hmm, pie...
Made for another forum I go on, Just felt the need to do something with this sig.
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| 06/24/07 00:21 |
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Mimori
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| RE: how do i help with a depressed person? |
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| QUOTE | You can help by bringing to your friend some pie. Pie fixes everything, unless its a flavor your friend doesn't like.
If it doesn't fix anything well it at least got you close to your friend to talk some sense into her/him.
Hmm, pie... |
I like pie! :-D Favorites pumpkin pie though x.x, my dad tends to avoid it and brings almond <_< boo. Pumpkin ftw!
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| 06/24/07 00:22 |
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NishanValtari
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| RE: how do i help with a depressed person? |
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I am bipolar (diagnosed) my b/f puts up with hell for me. Sometimes the only thing you can do is listen, a lot of times that is all that is needed. I know for me I dont want to hear from the person that I am talking to that they know how I feel or what I am going through because it doesnt help it makes me more depressed, listening gives me the chance to talk it out, it hard on my b/f to listen to me talk about things that are "gothic" but he knows that I tell him these things because it helps to talk to someone anyone. If you are really concerned and you cant go and see her call her. Sometimes just hearing the voice of someone you love really helps it gives you a chance for them to hear the depression in your voice even if your trying to hide it. Mind you though this is coming from someone who no amount of therapy is going to help. So I don't know therapy might help her.
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| 06/24/07 01:20 |
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mwpeck
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| RE: how do i help with a depressed person? |
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| QUOTE | | QUOTE | You can help by bringing to your friend some pie. Pie fixes everything, unless its a flavor your friend doesn't like.
If it doesn't fix anything well it at least got you close to your friend to talk some sense into her/him.
Hmm, pie... |
I like pie! :-D Favorites pumpkin pie though x.x, my dad tends to avoid it and brings almond <_< boo. Pumpkin ftw! |
You would love my family....pumpkin pie is my dads favorite, so its often the usual around here.
PS: In your first post, your saying I didnt help? >.<
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| 06/24/07 01:43 |
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Mimori
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| RE: how do i help with a depressed person? |
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| QUOTE | | QUOTE | | QUOTE | You can help by bringing to your friend some pie. Pie fixes everything, unless its a flavor your friend doesn't like.
If it doesn't fix anything well it at least got you close to your friend to talk some sense into her/him.
Hmm, pie... |
I like pie! :-D Favorites pumpkin pie though x.x, my dad tends to avoid it and brings almond <_< boo. Pumpkin ftw! |
You would love my family....pumpkin pie is my dads favorite, so its often the usual around here.
PS: In your first post, your saying I didnt help? >.< |
LMAO Must I list all my friends? xD Yes Crummy...I mean Crimmy... >_> <_<
You helped. As did Maya and everyone else, even Geeky! :_)
/hugs you all/
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| 06/24/07 02:01 |
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Thomas JP
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| RE: how do i help with a depressed person? |
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Just let her talk to you about it... more than likely, thats as far as it will ever go. You've got to remember that women usually just need someone to listen, not pretend to listen, but to really listen.
As time goes on you will see it more an more, and quite often they will tell you things and say things that they will never mention or think of again. Its just how women are (no offense to the women here, but you've got to admit thats true).
Sometimes it can go further, but then you'll notice it in her actions, and thats when you should sit down and talk about it seriously, if you do it before, she might see you as too aggressive or as coming on too strong... you don't want to do that, so until her talking begins to influence her actions, its just talk.
Just be sure to keep an eye on her actions. If what she says begins to influence her actions, it will begin small, and thats when you want to catch it. That said, there is nothing wrong with being goth. Its the self mutilation (that has nothing to do with goth or emo, its something all its own) and violent tendancies that you want to watch for.
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| 06/24/07 04:37 |
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words can heal 110
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| RE: how do i help with a depressed person? |
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get her to eat some chocolate it has a chemical which i cant remember the name of but intake of it has been linked with release of serotonin in the brain, which produces feelings of pleasure.
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| 06/24/07 04:47 |
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omfg rank ten guy
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| RE: how do i help with a depressed person? |
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keep being nice to her, please her with a present or something (flowers for example) compliments, and NEVER push her, which may lead to broke hearts. you dont wanna go that way believe me..
she will let it out but that takes some time. till than u cant do much than be nice & friendly and give her love.
I rly hope this helps you, i had this with my own gf be4 and i know u having a rough time atm
gl
~jake
| QUOTE | | Thats good advice for anyone...no one likes being pushed...someone might fall! |
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| 06/24/07 07:24 |
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Belshazaarswrath
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| RE: how do i help with a depressed person? |
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Thats good advice for anyone...no one likes being pushed...someone might fall!
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| 06/24/07 07:59 |
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KatsuyaNamori
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| RE: how do i help with a depressed person? |
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I think that all of the good advices have been told. But first things first, you must know if it is trully a depression or if it is just a change in her personnality, or something like that.
Communication is the key to be able to know what is going on. There is nothing that can beat a good communication. Speak to her. Try to know what's going on. The idea of talking to her friends is also a good one. Though be careful not to go too deep with the friends before speaking to her.
Search your feelings, you will surely know what is best in all of those advices. Because there are no solutions all built ; there are plenty of solutions, and you must choose the one that is best for you and her.
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| 06/24/07 08:33 |
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omfg rank ten guy
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| RE: how do i help with a depressed person? |
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| QUOTE | | Thats good advice for anyone...no one likes being pushed...someone might fall! |
actuall so stupid that it made me laugh lol.
but i was serieus about it.
| QUOTE | | Thats good advice for anyone...no one likes being pushed...someone might fall! |
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| 06/24/07 08:36 |
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Health_Kill
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| RE: how do i help with a depressed person? |
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And then, get more pie. After all, you can never have too much pie. If she rejects the 2nd pie, throw it in her face. I know a good pie in the face always cheers me up.
Made for another forum I go on, Just felt the need to do something with this sig.
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| 06/24/07 08:39 |
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Mesmer Master
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| RE: how do i help with a depressed person? |
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I use to counsel people in the military, my advice would be to find out what kind of depression is she going through?
You can do this by simply observing or doing alittle research.
For example...
Could this related to current events (loss of job, stuff with family), or is this something medical (is she carrying around inner demons from her past), or is this something hereditary?
The biggest thing here to observe... watch her behavior... is she destructive towards herself or others?
Listen to what shes saying... Is she talking about suicide? Or is she talking about how everything is hopeless?
This could be something small or could be somthing small leading to something bigger.
Since I do not the details of the situation, forcing her to seek help could have negative repercusions. Even consulating with her family or friends without her permission could also be bad. But if her situation does not improve or seem to improve you may have no other option.
Just keep a clear and open dialouge and pay attention to all her "new" habbits. If shes eating less and never in the mood to do anything or go anywhere. Then this is a clear indication the situation is heading down a bad road.
But definitely watch what you say around her, and when confroting her about this, chose your words carefully.
depending where you live you might have a free telephone number you can call (check your phone book) for help. This information can be found in the begining pages of a phone book next to the Points of Interests Pages, and what to do in a Emergency Page.
If your girlfriend is religious or used to be, consulting with a minister could be more comfortable than a trip to the ward.
------------------------------------------------------------
Links:
Mood Quesionaire
Facts about depression
Depression Quiz
Hope this helps
M.M.
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| 06/27/07 02:17 |
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